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My Spouse Wants a Divorce But I Don’t. What Should I Do?

Divorces are never easy, but it can be especially heartbreaking when the news blindsides you. Take a deep breath. No matter what ends up happening, you will be okay.

Our Portland family lawyers have seen countless individuals in their toughest moments, but we’ve also guided them to a happy ending.

How to Respond

Do your best to remain calm. Making a rash decision fueled by your emotions may end up backfiring, and it will do little to change your spouse’s feelings. Try not to plead or beg in these initial moments, and do not stalk or threaten them.

If you truly want to avoid divorce, you must figure out what’s prompted your spouse to file. Simply ask and listen to what they have to say without any interruptions. When you’re in a stable place, suggest other options such as marriage counseling and demonstrate that you are capable of change.

Emotionally Preparing for a Divorce

Even if you make promises to improve your ability to connect and communicate with your partner, their decision may very well be made up. The best thing to do is to prepare yourself for your future divorce.

Divorce can feel like a death, complete with all of the stages of grief. You’ll likely feel denial, anger, a period of bargaining, depression, but you will eventually reach acceptance of the situation. As impossible as this may seem in the moment, try not to hold on to resentment as this will only make your divorce worse.

Commit to focusing on your well-being and moving forward. You can start by asking yourself the following questions:

  • Where do I see myself in the future?

  • What will it take to get there?

  • Who will I surround myself with?

  • How will I take care of myself in the meantime?

You do not have to go through this journey alone. Lean on your closest friends, look for local support groups, and find a divorce attorney you can trust.

5 Steps to Take to Prepare for Divorce

Pre-planning and getting organized is critical to set yourself up for success during and after your divorce. Our trusted family law attorneys have put together the steps you should take when preparing for a divorce.

Educate Yourself About the Divorce Process

Each divorce case and situation is unique to that person. Your relative may have had a terrible experience, but that doesn’t mean yours will be the same. You may have some preconceived notions about what divorce entails, whether it’s from movies and TV or personal stories.

Divorce affects your future and your family. Because of this, you should learn about property division, alimony, child custody, and child support. The more you educate yourself, the better you’ll discuss your goals with your attorney.

Gather Documentation

Although divorces are emotional processes, you can’t forget that it’s still a complex legal breakdown of your marriage. That means you need to be prepared to back your side with evidence. Start gathering financial statements, including tax returns, paycheck stubs, bank statements, trusts, prenuptial agreements, and any other documents that you feel could be important.

Understand Your Finances

Do you have a good understanding of your financial position? Assess your bank accounts and statements. If you share joint accounts, now is the time to apply for your own and put money there.

Next, create a financial plan and budget for the foreseeable future. Write down your fixed expenses and how much money you need to set aside per month. Depending on your situation, you may be paying or receiving child support and alimony.

Set Divorce Goals

Don’t start the divorce process without knowing what you hope to get out of it. Think about what you want your life to look like after everything has been finalized. Set realistic financial goals and broader goals for your future. For example, you may wish to remain amicable to be strong co-parents. Keep these goals at the forefront of your mind as you go through the proceedings.

Hire a Portland Divorce Attorney

Having to go through a divorce can be a very stressful stage in your life. We at Levine Law Center LLC are here to make the process as easy as possible for you. We will work with you to tailor a strategy that fits your needs and goals. When you walk through our doors carrying all the problems that come with a divorce, we’ll work with you to solve them.

Call our Portland family lawyers at (503) 433-8340 to schedule a consultation now.

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